Juliet's Diary
by Smile-I'mTheEndOfAllThatYouSee
Summary: <html><head></head>Ninth grade English project. Juliet's thoughts and feelings from the time Nurse and Lady Capulet told her about Paris to the time right before Juliet drinks the potion</html>
1. Sunday, July 4, 1565, Nighttime

**Sunday, July 4, 1565**

**Nighttime**

Dear Diary,

Today has been an eventful day. Whether it carries fortunate favor or misfortunate luck, I'm not sure. Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, my mother asked me how stands my disposition to be married. I wasn't too thrilled and told her it is an honor I dreamt not of. My mother told me that Paris wanted to marry me. Then my mom and my nurse told me how handsome and wonderful he is. I simply replied that I'll take a look at him if simply looking at him can make me like Paris. I don't think this is really a good or bad thing, but I don't really want to marry yet. I figure this one out later.

My good father held an old accustomed feast this evening. All the fine ladies and gentlemen of Verona were there. I danced all the dances, and even Paris offered to dance with me. I let him. Like I promised my mother, I took a look at him. He was handsome, but I didn't experience love at first sight with him. At least he was a good dancer.

Now here is the very best thing (and later the worst which I will soon tell you). A young boy around 17 took my hand and kissed it. I swore I jumped out of my skin when he touched my hand and blushed every red known to man when he kissed it. He called me a saint, and he a pilgrim who touches a shrine (me) to make himself worthy again. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I never had heard any man tell this to me. It felt wonderful! I went along with this boy angel's metaphor, and then we kissed! It was my very first kiss! Explosions of fire and ice occurred in my stomach. A heat wave crept on me! Every second turned into hours, and even better, this Greek god kisses by the book! He must have kissed other girls before me. Then, our lips parted. Internally, I pouted, wanting another kiss. I got my wish! After a brief exchange of dialect, we kissed again, but it was short changed when Nurse unexpectedly showed up and told me that my mother craved a word with me. (Nothing too serious, just about what I thought of Paris.)

Now this is the very bad thing. I asked Nurse to find out that boy's name was and if he was married. He is the one I want to marry. He is my first love, soul mate. God and fate have sentenced me to be with him. Nurse came back and told me his name was Romeo Montague. (At least he wasn't married.) I couldn't believe it. My only love was sprung from my only hate. Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Fate has sentenced me to love a loathed enemy. How foolish can God's plan for me really be! O why can't he be from another family that is friends of the Capulets not enemies? Maybe if I think about this matter at my balcony surrounded by night's cool breeze, I can figure out whether to love Romeo or hate him. I'll write another entry to let you know how it went.

So long and goodnight,

Juliet


	2. Monday, July 5, 1565, Midnight

**Monday, July 5, 1565**

**Midnight**

Dear Diary

Tonight is a joyous and exiting night! I finally decided that a Montague is not any part belonging to a man, and if Romeo had some other name, he would still be just as handsome and beautiful. Then out of nowhere, Romeo shouted he would get rid of his name if I called him my love. At first I was startled and angry that he was hiding and listening to my counsel. I didn't realize it was Romeo so I asked angrily asked who that man was. I knew it was Romeo when he replied that he didn't know how to tell me his name because it is hateful to himself because it is an enemy to me. I was so happy, but I also wondered how Romeo camest hither and wherefore? Romeo, carried away with emotion, said that love's light wings helped him o'erperch the stony walls. I was more practical and told him that if my kinsmen saw him, they would murder him. Romeo said that if I just smile upon him, he'll be deafened against my family's hatred.

Then Romeo asked for the exchange of my love's faithful vow for his. I had excitement in my stomach (for marriage wasn't something I dreamt of), but I was worried that our love has happened as quickly as lightning which can quickly disappear. I told him that I gave my vow before he requested it, and yet I would it were to give again. I also told him my love is as boundless and deep as the sea. Then Nurse started calling for me. I panicked. What if she found me and Romeo? What would she do? What if she found out that we were in love and talking about marriage? Would she tell my parents? I told her that I was coming and whispered to Romeo to stay but a little because I will come again. As I entered my room, a thought just crept up my head. What if she heard me talking to someone and wants to know who it was? Should I lie to her and say it was no one, or tell the truth? What if she wanted to know what I was doing out there? Could I really tell her?

Luckily, Nurse just wanted to know where I was and to say goodnight and told me not to stay up too long. (I swear. She mothers me more than my own mother. Then again, Nurse is more of a mother than my own mother.) I returned to my love, Romeo and was glad he was still there – proof that he is faithful and trustworthy. Because I love Romeo with all my heart, and I know he feels the same way, I gave in to his request for marriage, but I wanted to make sure that Romeo's intentions of marriage are serious. I told him that I'll send a messenger at the hour of nine to find out where and what time the priest shall perform the rite. Oh, how I love him! I wanted to shout his name to the heavens so all the angels can know him and keep Romeo close to me. But because of my parents, I must whisper his name. I also know that he has to go to find out when and where we shall marry.

He left my father's orchard, and I left my balcony. Feeling such dread because he is no longer with me, but filled with such excitement because I will soon be joined in holy matrimony with the man I love. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Good night (or shall I say good morning), Diary,

Juliet


	3. Monday, July 5, 1565, 12 o'clock

**Monday, July 5, 1565**

**12 o'clock**

Dear Diary,

I'm so worried that I thought I tell thee about it in hopes that my ill-found fears will go away. It's been more than three hours since I send Nurse to find Romeo. She promised to return in half an hour. What if she cannot meet him? What if Nurse is hurt and cannot get to Romeo? What if Romeo is hurt and nowhere to be found? Oh, that is not it. Nurse is old and lame. If she had years taken off her and warm youthful blood, she would have met Romeo already and be back hours ago. I hear something. Perhaps it is Nurse. It is Nurse! Just a minute ago, I was a nervous wreck. Now I am scared and dreadful that Romeo doesn't want to marry me. I will go back and ask what news Romeo has told Nurse. Then I will right to you whether the news is good or bad.

Oh, happy day! The news was good! Nurse stalled me for awhile, and I grew very impatient. Then Nurse told me to make an excuse for shrift and head down to Friar Laurence's cell where stays Romeo who shall make me a wife. Oh, happy day! Oh, joyful times! The news was good after all! I must end my entry here because I have to get ready soon. Oh, how I wish I could tell you more, but I can't unless I want to be late. After my marriage, I will tell you about my marriage to Romeo.

Good-bye but for not too long,

Juliet


	4. Monday, July 5, 1565, Evening

**Monday, July 5, 1565**

**Evening**

Dear Diary,

Oh, why can't night come quickly? Tonight, Romeo will climb up the cords on my balcony and join me in my bedroom where the two of us will reap the benefits of marriage. Oh! I almost forgot to tell you how it went. Silly me! Oh Diary, it was wonderful! Being married to the man you love is so much better than being married to a very handsome man that you have no affections for. When Romeo and I finally kissed after Holy Church incorporated us into one, it was better than our first kiss, or different I should say. Our first kiss sent sparks flying. This kiss made our souls bond. In other words, our first kiss was an explosion. Our marriage kiss was a seal – a seal of love and bondage of two souls becoming one out of Holy Matrimony. Now I wish for night so Romeo may come to me. My heavenly angel! My pure hearted man! My peaceful white dove! My gentle lamb! My holy saint! My honorable hero! Oh! I hear something! Here comes my Nurse. I will write again when this matter is quickly be gone.

Oh, well-a-day. Oh, such woeful times! Such a cruel trick fate has played on me. You must be confused, Diary, for why am I so sad when just a few moments ago I was happy? Romeo is banished because he slew Tybalt! Tybalt, my cousin, who was my guardian angel and personal hero when I was little and growing up. Tybalt who protected me and told me sweet things when I had nightmares. Tybalt, my dear-loved cousin who kept me safe from Montague harm before I realized that the Montagues may not be so bad after all. Oh, Romeo! Oh, angelical fiend! Serpent hearted man! Dove-feathered raven! Wolvish-ravening lamb! My dammed saint! My honorable villain! Why must you kill my dear-loved cousin, my childhood protector Tybalt?

Wait a minute, why must I beseech Romeo? He is not a villain or an evil-hearted man. If he didn't slew Tybalt, Tybalt would have killed him. Shame on me for beseeching my husband! It was a lose-lose situation played by Fate to make a mockery out of me and destroy my love for Romeo. I should have known better. If my parents' death was followed by Tybalt's death, I would have expected and felt grief. However, because Romeo's banishment followed Tybalt's death, it created a sorrow so deep in my heart that it cannot be expressed in words. (Forgive me, Diary, if it sounds wrong of me to say so or do so.) Oh, when my parents are wailing and mourning for Tybalt's death, my tears shall be spent on Romeo's banishment. I, a married woman will die a widow without ever really being a wife. Death, not Romeo, shall be my husband. This woeful misfortunate event does have some good news. Nurse promised me to find Romeo and bring him to me before he departs for Mantua.

Farewell, Diary, may you have happier times than me,

Juliet


	5. Tuesday, July 6, 1565, Early Morning

**The vision Juliet has is my take on what she says in Act 3, Scene 5 (o God, I have an ill-divining soul!/ Methinks I see thee, now thou art below,/ As one dead in the bottom of a tomb:/) Disclaimer: I don't own _Romeo and Juliet._ Shakespear does.**

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday, July 6, 1565<strong>

**Early Morning**

Dear Diary,

Oh! Romeo came last night. Nurse found Romeo and brought him to me like she promised. That night, I cried upon his shoulder, and he comforted me and told me such sweet, beautiful, and reassuring things. Then, that night, we reaped the benefits of marriage on my bed. We each pledged our virginity to each other and made out for the night. Not even a cool breeze from my window could stir away the heat we felt. Such good feelings were felt between us. Finally, sleep overcame us, and we were both transported to the mind's world where dreams dwell in our hearts and minds.

Then the lark sang in the pomegranate trees and the sun's rays entered through my balcony door and danced on my bedroom wall. Both our minds stirred from our sleep, and Romeo, noticing it was daylight, quickly got up, and started to get dressed. I threw on my nightgown. Romeo was about to descend from my balcony when I told him to stay awhile. I lied and told him it was the nightingale that was singing not the lark. I wanted him to stay with me longer. Romeo didn't fall for my lie and told me it was the lark. Then I told him the light he sees is not sunlight, but some meteor that the sun exhales to be night's torchbearer and light Romeo's way to Mantua. Romeo gave in to my lie (although I think he knew I was lying) and said he'll stay with me even if it means death. But his mention of "death" frightened me, and I hurried him out. With one last kiss, Romeo descended down and headed for Mantua.

But before Romeo's feet touched the ground, I had an evil vision of the future. I saw a graveyard. The sky was blood red, and there were funeral bells ringing somewhere in the distance. I heard crows calling to one another. I saw vultures eating a dead corpse. Then I saw a lone tomb on a lonely hill against the bloody sky. I walked toward it. The iron door opened by itself, and there was some stairs leading down. I descended down the stairs and there was a body, kissed by Death, lying on a stone table meant for corpses to be laid on as their final resting place. The corpse had a veil lied upon it to conceal its identity. I took off the veil to see this dead body's identity. When I did, flashes of me and Romeo were shown as the identity of the corpse. Right then, I panicked and my vision went away.

I told Romeo of my vision of one of us lying in the bottom of a tomb in the future. I didn't tell him any of the details. I didn't want to worry him. To change the subject to prevent him from worrying about me, fearing for the future, and to prevent him from fearing for himself, I told him how he looked pale. He said that it does because our sorrow drinks our blood. He never said anything about my vision. Then Romeo left. At first I'm glad he never said anything about my vision, now I wish he did so he can comfort me and tell me everything will be alright because right now, nothing is alright.

If fate hasn't brought me enough woe, it has now. My lady mother came to tell me that my father set me up to wed Paris on Thursday. I was not happy or proud but thankful of my father's intentions. My mother and father could not believe that I refuse to marry Paris. My father went into a rage. He took my arm, twisted it, and threw me to the floor! I began crying in fear. Now I know that marrying Paris is a bad thing! My own father called me a choplogic, a minion, a green-sickness carrion, a tallow-face, and a hilding. He threatened me to fettle my joints for the wedding at St. Peter's Church or he'll drag me in a hurdle to church. He told my mother that I was a curse to them both! He said that his fingers itch. I cringed when he said that. I was so scared. Nurse stood up for me, but father put her down. Then my father threatened to disown me if I don't marry Paris. Then he left.

I cried and beg to my mother to delay this marriage or if she can't, lay me with Tybalt. My mother told me not to speak to her. I felt betrayed. I started to cry some more and shiver from the fear I felt because of my father's rage. I asked Nurse for comfort, but the comfort she gave to me was to tell me to marry Paris. I could not believe it! I felt betrayed! I thought Nurse cared more about my happiness and well-being than my own parents. I thought Nurse was on my side of things, but it seems she is not. I could not tell this to her so I lied and told Nurse that she convinced me to marry Paris. I lied to her and asked Nurse to tell my parents that I'll will go to Friar Laurence's cell to do shrift there when in reality, I need his help to get me out of this marriage. Nurse thought I made the right choice and left. Then I shouted what I really felt. I'm not sure whether to be angry at Nurse for telling me to break my wedding vowels or for criticizing Romeo after praising him. From now on, Nurse and my secrets shall now be separated. Only you, Diary, shall know them. I'm on my own from here, and if Friar Laurence can't save me from a second marriage, I myself the power to die.

Good-bye, Diary,

Juliet


	6. Tuesday, July 6, 1565, Night

**Tuesday, July 6, 1565**

**Night**

Dear Diary,

Friar Laurence has found a way to prevent this second marriage! I must drink this vial of distilled liquor the night before the wedding. The liquid will make me appear dead. I will look cold and pale. Every part of me will appear stiff. I will have no pulse even though my heart is still beating (but only faintly). This will only last 42 hours. My family will mourn for me, thinking I'm dead, and shut me up in the Capulet tomb. In the meantime, Friar Laurence will write to Romeo, telling him of this. When I awake, Romeo will be there by my side, and Friar Laurence will sneak us out of Verona and into Mantua. Oh, how I wanted that vial. Friar Laurence was surprised that I displayed no womanish fear or inconstant toy.

At home, I had to pretend to be sorry for my sins and ask my father for forgiveness. Oh, how that hurt my pride and how wrong it felt to pretend to ask for forgiveness when inside me, I want none, but my father's apology for hurting me and scaring me so. My father was so happy (such foolish pride!) that he rearranged the wedding for Wednesday instead of Thursday. I had to pretend that I was overcome with joy, but inside, I was overcome with sadness with this new misfortune. My Nurse helped me pick out such ornaments to furnish me tomorrow. As we spent time quarreling over clothes. I felt sad since this could be the last day I'll see her forever or for many years. Oh, how I wish, I didn't yell at her in secret and wish to apologize and say good-bye. Since she is probably going to be the first person to see me in a death-like state, I wanted to tell her of Friar Laurence's plan so Nurse won't feel so heartbroken in the morning. She is the one I'm going to miss the most.

Now it is night, and I can still hear the servants getting ready for tomorrow. Oh, how they waste their time for there won't be a marriage tomorrow. As I hold this vial in my hand, I cannot help but feel afraid. What if this really does kill me, and Friar Laurence was lying? Worse, what if it doesn't work, and I shall be married tomorrow morning? No, no! I shall forbid it! This dagger will lie there by my bedside. If this liquid mixture shall not work, than for real, I will kill myself and damn my soul to Hell. I rather damn my soul to Hell than to suffer the sin of being married to two men. But, I still can't help but be afraid. What if I see Tybalt's bloody ghost screaming for Romeo, wanting further revenge? I'll shout at him to stay away from me. So much fear and what if's fill my head and surround my heart, begging me not to fake death. I will not listen! And take this potion and be joined with Romeo in the near future.

But, Diary, I must part with thee. I wish I can bring you, but I can't. We must have to part. No longer will I tell thee of my secrets and feelings. I can't send a note to Friar Laurence to bring thee to me when I a wake from death's sleep this late! Oh, Diary, I will miss thee. I will keep you safe in a small vault under my bed locked up tight. If fate ever be so kind, one day I'll come back for you and tell thee everything. For now, I will miss thee.

Goodnight with all my love,

Juliet


End file.
